What's Next?

I think I will write a book.

She was Fierce! Pt1

Dear Me,

You really need to get it together! You really need to get a grip. Who cares what everyone else thinks about you? You are the only one that matters right now and you are losing it! I can't believe how pitiful you have become...putting some lame "boy" before yourself. You never used to be this girl. I don't even know you anymore. I miss you.

It's like yesterday you used to be so full of life and made the room shine with your smile. Now it seems so dark and gloomy wen you enter a room, I just want to get away from you. What happen to that girl that loved herself enough to let things go that could potentially harm her? What happen to the fun loving girl that made everyone laugh out loud with joy after she told a story or two? What happen to the vibrant young lady that knew who she was and what she wanted out of life? I miss her.

There was no one like her. She was the bomb! There wasn't anything she couldn't do and there was no one that could stop her. She was Fierce! I remember a time when she would laugh off the pain from her haters and demand their respect. And as for "him" he would think twice before speaking to you like that. I remember when she used to know how to "let it go!" and really "let it go!" I miss her. I remember when "he" had mad respect for her, and would never take her for granted. And if "he" did, he would apologize and let her be. I miss her.

Where is the person that knew exactly what to say when everyone else was feeling low? Where is the tough but sweet lady that had everyones back when times got rough? Where is the girl that used to smile all the time...it was contagious I tell you. Where is the girl that looked at the bright side of every situation and could always seem to find that damn "silver linning" even when others wanted it to remain hidden. Man I miss her. Everytime I think about how much fun she was, I wonder what made her go into hiding. What could possibly make her retreat and take cover. I wish that "bravebird" would resurface....I miss her.

Get A Leg Up!

I absolutely love Leggings and Thigh-gings (if you will) I think they have made a triumphant return to fashion in a major way. No longer are leggings just for your work-out! Women all across the globe from Run-ways to lunch dates are bringing sexy back with a pair of leggings! There is no wrong way to wear a pair of leggings or thigh-gings, as a matter of fact mostly anyone can pull off a pair over everything from: Jeans to Miniskirts. They make a great fashion accessory and can somehow transform an every day pair of shoes into fabulous footwear. Women of all ages are wearing them this season and look fabulous doing it. Here are a few styles and ways to make your leggings fit you age appropriately.

I wear mine with a pair of heels or boots and a funky jacket. I sometimes add a chunky scarf for a more dramatic Asian street feel. I Love it! Lindsay Lohan has made it her "business" so to speak to bring leggings into the forefront of fashion by starting her own line of leggings. Get in queue now, because Lindsay Lohan's leggings line '6126' are on sale in a big way at Nordstrom. Leggings have made a serious come-back and are so fashion forward right now!

iDeirdre (and iWear Leggings!)

I'm sad n lonely. He's going back to Cali n to her. At this point, I'd rather be blind than see him leave me. So I will stay away.

aid a woman had to "earn" him first before he thought about marrying them....I wonder if I've "earned" him yet. Ummmmm

He means the world to me and I almost killed him to tonight. Not on purpose, but totally by accident. I was just trying to help him that's all. He once s

I am sitting in the hospital waiting room waiting on him. Sometimes I wonder why I do certain things for him. I guess it is because I honestly love him.

The End...

September 29, 2009

Eight years. Eight years I loved a man that would never be mine. I cared
more about him then I did myself. How do I know, because I am the only
one crying that's how I know. I would have climbed a mountain if he
asked me to. And with bleeding fingers I would have climbed some more. I
have never felt this way about anyone, ever. And I doubt I ever will.

He said something to me tonight that finally let me know it (whatever it
was) was over. "Take it easy sweets." He said take it
easy....woooooo(breathe girl...breathe) I guess he was right, I don't
know how to be just friends and not want a relationship. Hell, all I
ever wanted was a relationship. I don't know how to be one of those
girls that just take what they can get. That s**t hurts too much. I felt
something that was just not there.

I have so much to say but I can't seem to put it in words right now. I
love that man. I truly do. And letting him go hurts like hell right now.
I don't like this pain. I don't like the way this feels. I was never his
lady. I was always the "Katie girl" that's what I get for thinking too
big. That's what I get for stepping out of my box. I gave away too much.
I don't want it back.

Etta James says it best: "I'd rather go blind then to watch u walk outta
my life I'd rather be blind, then to see you walk away from me. I'd
rather be blind"

September 29, 2009....

The End

Until We Read Again,
iDeirdre

Current mood: peaceful
Category: Life

Today I took myself out on a date. That's right, I went to dinner with myself. I have to admit it was interesting to say the least, but I survived. I hadn't planned on going by myself, I was going to take a certain someone, then I changed my mind and took myself. I used to have a problem with going out to eat by myself and would often take "props" along whenever I would. Like: a book, my laptop or some homework/paperwork that would make me appear to be busy. However this time was different. I just woke up after my nap and said... "I'm going to dinner."

Of course whenever you enter a restaurant, the host or hostess always asks, "how many?" I simply said "1" and the shame began! Why is it when you are "1" people try to "single shame" you? I like being "1".....maybe not ALL the time, but I like it. It reminds me that I am special and God doesn't want to give me just any ole man. HE wants me to have the best.

I went to my favorite restaurant The Grand Lux on Michigan Ave(using some Bday money I recieved the day before) and upon entry I got the "Is she alone" look from one hostess and the "I hope not" look from another. It was almost enough to make me want to turn around and go home, but I couldn't bring myself to give them any satisfaction.

"Ms. Are you waiting for someone?"

"No its just me."

I asked for a promenade (window) seat and ordered my meal...The Carmel Chicken w/a Cosmo. I sat there and watched as many people combed the summer streets. It was wonderful....Happy Birthday to me.

Until We Read Again,

Deirdre

Today is My Birth Anniversary!

Thank you my Lord for another year of life! I Truly Love YOU!